Monday, 16 July 2012

A little me time and some stuff to think about

After last Saturday evening I’ve decided to take some time for myself the last two days. The only thing I planned was physical therapy today. I used this time for a lot of thinking and processing and just doing things that I like to do, mostly on my laptop.

This processing time has been very good for me. The pain in my back isn’t gone yet and I’m still coughing once in a while, but that’s it. My health has improved a lot and so has my mood. Processing time is very much needed. I guess everyone needs processing time, but I feel that that’s even more necessary for people on the spectrum, since it usually takes a little while longer ‘till certain things are processed. If I don’t take this time once in a while, things keep piling up unprocessed, leading up to a lot of stress and physical problems. Just taking these two days allow me to be able to go on for a lot more days.

I’ve had people asking me if it isn’t just laziness and/or if I can’t go on for just a little while longer. To be honest? Yes I can. I can go on for a little while longer. It’s just that the longer I wait with this processing time, the longer I will need to recover. So in the end I’ll need more time for myself to recover. Instead, I rather take this time a little earlier, so I’ll be feeling fine sooner and I will be back in action in no time. This way, I’ll actually be more productive and not less productive.

In this time I’ve also done a lot of thinking about myself and about my future. I might not be able to plan everything out yet, as I still have a lot of things to start up, but even going through a lot of what-if scenarios and going through everything that needs to be done, clears up my mind. As I’m sure people are going to suggest this: Yes I am making use of lists.

Also, there’s something else that I have been thinking about. Someone once asked me that if there was a cure for Autism, if I would take it. I’ve been thinking back to this moment, because Aaron has blogged and spoken in an interview about the same question. I thought this would be nice blog material for me too.

So, what did I answer that person? I told him I wouldn’t take it. Yes, my autism is cause for sadness sometimes, but it is also cause for a lot of great things! Would I have been able to hyperfocus on studying at school if I didn’t have Asperger’s? Would I have been able to be so great at problem solving and, with that, helping at conventions? Would I still hold on to the same ethics? Would I still be wanting to fight for justice so hard?

I don’t believe that Autism is who I am. It’s definitely not! I’m me and I happen to have Asperger’s. But I do believe that my Asperger’s has influenced me a lot. It made me deal with certain things differently and it helped me in shaping my talents. I wouldn’t give that up for the world.


  1. Heey,
    Goed dat je gewoon de tijd neemt die je nodig hebt, om dingen te verwerken.
    Verders dacht ik inene, misschien is mindmappen wel wat voor jou. Dat kan een manier zijn om dingen overzichtelijk op papier te zetten.

    Ik heb die vraag trouwens ook wel gehad, als er een pil zou bestaan waarmee je van je autisme geneest, neem je die dan?
    Denk het dus echt niet. Ik weet nu wie ik ben en accepteer mijzelf zoals ik ben. Met autisme dus.
    Volgens mij kom ik in een complete identiteitscrisis als ik inene niet meer autistisch zou zijn.

    1. Wat dat mindmappen betreft: ik zal het onthouden. :) Verder, mooi antwoord op die vraag.