After last Saturday evening I’ve decided to take some time for myself the last two days. The only thing I planned was physical therapy today. I used this time for a lot of thinking and processing and just doing things that I like to do, mostly on my laptop.
This processing time has been very good for me. The pain in my back isn’t gone yet and I’m still coughing once in a while, but that’s it. My health has improved a lot and so has my mood. Processing time is very much needed. I guess everyone needs processing time, but I feel that that’s even more necessary for people on the spectrum, since it usually takes a little while longer ‘till certain things are processed. If I don’t take this time once in a while, things keep piling up unprocessed, leading up to a lot of stress and physical problems. Just taking these two days allow me to be able to go on for a lot more days.
I’ve had people asking me if it isn’t just laziness and/or if I can’t go on for just a little while longer. To be honest? Yes I can. I can go on for a little while longer. It’s just that the longer I wait with this processing time, the longer I will need to recover. So in the end I’ll need more time for myself to recover. Instead, I rather take this time a little earlier, so I’ll be feeling fine sooner and I will be back in action in no time. This way, I’ll actually be more productive and not less productive.
In this time I’ve also done a lot of thinking about myself and about my future. I might not be able to plan everything out yet, as I still have a lot of things to start up, but even going through a lot of what-if scenarios and going through everything that needs to be done, clears up my mind. As I’m sure people are going to suggest this: Yes I am making use of lists.
Also, there’s something else that I have been thinking about. Someone once asked me that if there was a cure for Autism, if I would take it. I’ve been thinking back to this moment, because Aaron has blogged and spoken in an interview about the same question. I thought this would be nice blog material for me too.
So, what did I answer that person? I told him I wouldn’t take it. Yes, my autism is cause for sadness sometimes, but it is also cause for a lot of great things! Would I have been able to hyperfocus on studying at school if I didn’t have Asperger’s? Would I have been able to be so great at problem solving and, with that, helping at conventions? Would I still hold on to the same ethics? Would I still be wanting to fight for justice so hard?
I don’t believe that Autism is who I am. It’s definitely not! I’m me and I happen to have Asperger’s. But I do believe that my Asperger’s has influenced me a lot. It made me deal with certain things differently and it helped me in shaping my talents. I wouldn’t give that up for the world.