Sunday, 3 June 2012


Right now I'm trying to stay awake as long as possible, so that I can sleep a lot during the day on Sunday and then maybe make it through the night from Sunday to Monday. Why? Because Monday we'll need to leave the house very early to get ourselves on the plane to England. I'm a night person, so I'm better at pushing my rythm forwards than pulling it backwards. (So, better at staying up late and wake up late, than going to bed early and wake up early)
My sister on the other hand is using the other method: she goes to bed earlier and makes sure she'll have a good night sleep. Healthwise that would be the better option for me too, but I’ve tried this before and I couldn’t pull it off. So better be safe than sorry. I’ll have a nap when we’re at the hotel in England.

At the hotel in England… This Monday… I can’t even begin to realise it. When I let it sink in too much, I just get overwhelmed and start to mildly hyperventilate, even now just writing this it seems to happen, so I have to try and keep distance from over thinking it.
Just thinking about everything that needs to be done is too much… Okay I’m leaving this subject before I have to alarm some people because of hyperventilation. (don’t worry, I’m fine, I just think I won’t be if I keep typing about how much it is)

So… Yes… England… I can hardly be very excited too. It’s not that I’m not looking forward to it. I am very much so! But I always have this. I’m not very excited until the day is there. Sometimes even until I’m at the place itself. I usually have it with anime/manga conventions too. I am looking forward to those things, but I don’t get very excited until we drive up to the parking spot of the convention and I see the other visitors standing in line already. I think it’s some kind of protection I created for myself. You see, I’m very bad with disappointment. So if I just don’t get excited about something right up to the last point, I can’t get disappointed, or at least not as easily. That’s fine though, I do enjoy and get excited over the activity itself and I think that’s the most important thing, so that is fine.

I wish I had more to say about England, but I don’t. Well… I do. But I can’t say more without overwhelming myself with a lot of ‘what if…?’ thoughts and my health is first place here, so sorry, no can do. Let’s just say there are too many unpredictable things and it’s the first time I’ll be flying without my parents, so… yea… anxiety is there. It’s okay though, this is why we’re doing this (besides just wanting to go to England). I want to get used to travelling on my own and I can do that best with someone explaining me now.

So I’m wrapping this up now. Tomorrow… *looks at the time* I mean today, I’ll be packing my bags… Let’s not think about that either. So, let’s surf some more on the internet.

No comments:

Post a Comment