Lately I have noticed something. After writing about some of my struggles, some people have started to get a bit overprotective of me. I’m not talking about some specific people, so please don’t start asking ‘were you talking about me?’ or ‘were you talking about my comment?’ because I’m talking about both online and offline.
Don’t worry, I’m not angry at all. I can see that this is all out of good intention and I’m grateful that I have such caring people around me. The thing is though: It isn’t necessary. I’ve struggled with these things all my life and I’m still okay, so I will be in the future too. I’m not the one to suffer in silence. I’ll speak up when I need help and if I can’t, I’ll probably be in so much trouble you’ll be able to read it from my face. If I don’t speak up, it wasn’t necessary.
Besides that, I have a caring family and plenty of friends. I’m getting support when I need it.
My sister just said ‘If I don’t care, other’s shouldn’t either.’ What does she mean by that? She’s family and knows me best. If you’re ever near me and my sister and you’re worried over me and my sister isn’t, then you probably don’t need to be worried.
I never intended to write my blog to gain attention for my problems. These problems have gotten enough attention after I got chronically fatigued. Yes, I would’ve loved more attention before my diagnosis, but that attention is there now. I write my blog, so people can understand what a person with Asperger’s (and Chronic Fatigue) go through every day, so that they can understand other people who have it too. A person with Asperger’s and Chronic Fatigue go through both happy and sad times, just like we all do, and both times need to be understood. When a person with (one of) these diagnosis’s is in your life and has a hard time explaining his or herself, I hope this blog will help.
So please don’t get over caring. What is over caring? When I’m terribly tired, offering to make me a sandwich? Nope, that’s nice. Please do. I’m talking about when I just for a second cringe from a passing sound or something like that and you’re immediately going ‘are you okay?!’ or something like that. Yes, the sound bothered me, but it passed quickly. I’ll be fine. Or when I’m carrying something and you’re asking ‘Isn’t it too heavy?’ ‘No.’ ‘Should I carry it?’ ‘No, I just said it’s okay.’ ‘I just don’t want you to get tired!’
Even though I’m Chronically Fatigued, if I say I can still go on, then it’s my responsibility. Offering to help is okay, but if I decline, stop asking.
When I read this back, I feel I do sound a bit angry, so let me say this again: I’m not angry. Actually, thank you for caring so much. I AM actually touched by all the nice people around me. I just want to say it’s not necessary, not that I don’t care or don’t appreciate it.
So in short: Asking if I need help? Nice of you, thank you! Keeping asking after I declined, and/or asking for every little thing? Unnecessary. Still, thank you for caring.