… having to feel terrible afterwards. This is the curse that is my Chronic Fatigue. I have been feeling dizzy all weekend and yesterday evening my temperature went up. All I’ve done today is go to a friend of ours with my sister. There we would work on our Cosplay (A word that comes from Costume and Play. What it means EXACTLY is still under discussion between fans, but the most used explanation is: Dressing up as an anime/manga/videogame character).
But I got to be honest… I didn’t do a lot. I couldn’t do a lot for this anyway, as something needed to be fitted on my head, which is hard (not entirely impossible) to do on my own. This, and the fact that my sister would drive us there and back, is the only reason that I still went to our friend despite not feeling well. I did have a lot of fun, so I do not regret my decision. Going there didn’t make me feel worse and it provided a great distraction.
But actually focussing on thinking about difficult things, or doing something that requires physical energy, is just too much at the moment. I’m dizzy and I still have a bit of a heightened temperature (which is annoying in this heat!). Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I’m used to this by now. The only reason I’m writing about it, is to show what Chronic Fatigue does. A lot of people ask me “Chronically Fatigued? But you’re going to friends and are having fun and things like that right? You seem fine to me! So what do you mean?” Well, this is what I mean. I may seem perfectly fine, and I probably am (or at least, not feeling all too bad), but afterwards I collapse.
Again, I’m not seeking for comfort or attention or anything like that. I just want to show what living with Chronic Fatigue is like. This may be “The daily days of an Asperger”, but the description of my blog says it’s about my life with Asperger’s AND Chronic Fatigue, so I shouldn’t ignore the Chronic Fatigue. That’s the only reason I’m writing this.
Whenever you meet someone with Chronic Fatigue and they seem perfectly fine to you, this doesn’t mean they’re fine all the time. They might have saved their energy just for you and will maybe feel terrible afterwards. Don’t focus too much on this though, if that person saved his/her energy for you, then just enjoy that day, that person didn’t save it just to be remembered of it the whole time. That person probably saved it to enjoy a nice day with you just like they normally would. Sometimes I have people asking me if I’m tired already throughout the whole day. That’s not necessary. I’ll tell you when I want to stop. If I crossed my limits, that’s my own fault, not yours. I can learn from that.
This isn’t one of my best written blogs as I don’t feel too well and I’m feeling bad over not being able to work some more on my Cosplay, or my driving lessons. I hope I’ll feel better for Abunai (the biggest anime/manga convention in the Netherlands, which is at the end of the week). But I felt like I had to write it anyway, because it’s important to know this side of Chronic Fatigue too.