There’s something that I’d like to talk about, seeing I’ll be celebrating my birthday the 3rd of November. (my actual birthday is the 6th of November) This thing is receiving (the wrong) presents. I don’t mean to scare anyone off with buying presents for me. Please, I’m happy with anything that I get, because you’re the one who bought it for me. I just seek understanding for something that I’ll explain in the rest of my blogpost.
I’ll explain this by sharing an example. One day a friend of mine (who I’m not in contact with anymore) got me a necklace. The necklace was put into a very nice wooden box, which was hand-decorated with a character from an Anime (Japanese cartoon) that I love and I actually Cosplayed (dressed up) as the main character. I loved the personal touch, but I have to be honest… I never wear jewellery, because it gives me a terrible sensory problem. I always feel it and I can’t ignore it. If you ever catch me wearing a necklace, it’s probably a really big and classy party and my mother has probably forced me into wearing one.
This friend told me that he really wanted to see me wearing his necklace. I told him I never wear jewellery as it’s a sensory hell, so that I couldn’t wear his necklace, but that I was forever grateful for getting it and would cherish it. He wasn’t happy at all and told me I was rude for just laying his necklace aside to sit in the dust.
That is totally missing the point! I wasn’t trying to be rude and I wasn’t laying the necklace aside to sit in the dust either. In fact, I still have the necklace and still think it’s beautiful. I just can’t wear it. I’ll never ask for jewellery as a present, as I’m unable to use it.
One other time I got a piece of clothing that wasn’t my style at all, but it was from a big designer, so the person giving me the present proudly expected me to be very happy and asked me whether I would proudly wear it. I can honestly say that I’m happy with any present I get. Just the fact that someone went as far as getting me something with the sole purpose of making me happy, already makes any present I get a good present. It’s just when I get something I can’t use and it’s being expected to be used, I have no idea what to say. I’m a terribly honest person. I can talk around indirect questions, but when being asked something so specifically as whether I would use something that I most likely won’t, I have no idea what to say.
No, I won’t use it. Yes, I’m very happy and grateful that I got the present. Most people don’t seem to understand this. Somehow, for some reason, it’s an insult not to use someone’s present which is meant for using, even when it’s something you would never normally use anyway. I don’t get this. Am I supposed to lie to you when I get something I can’t use? Am I supposed to say I will use it, when I won’t because I can’t? And is it really so hard to believe that I’m genuinely happy with your present, even when it’s something I can’t use?
These are questions that I’ve never gotten a clear answer to. I don’t get the etiquette of getting presents.
But anyone who has ever gotten me a present, and anyone who ever will: If it just so happens that you got a present that I can’t use for some reason, don’t feel bad. I’m honestly happy with the present and will keep it. So if you ever ask if I will use your present and I tell you no for whatever reason, please remember that I’m just very honest, but that that doesn’t mean that I’m not happy with it. I am, rest assured.
Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean that every present I get is a present I can’t use of course. I was just talking about those specific presents. There’s plenty I CAN use.