Start of a new year

A new year has begun. A lot of people ask me how Christmas and New Year’s Eve have been, so let’s start with that. Christmas has been good and bad at the same time. I’ve had loads of fun celebrating Christmas with the family. A big part of the family couldn’t make it, which is a shame of course, but at the same time it also took away the overload I usually have at big parties. Unfortunately I was still feeling unwell and during Christmas dinner with the family my temperature suddenly shot up and I was forced to lay down, feeling terrible, for the rest of the evening. I don’t regret it though, as we did have fun before my temperature shot up.

The dinner table at the Family Christmas Dinner.

Christmas at the Weekly Autism Meeting was fun as well. There was a big turn up of 16 people at the dinner! I was still feeling unwell though, so I didn’t stay for the activities. I’m sorry for that. I hope the activity was a lot of fun.

The weekend after that was mostly spend in bed and on the couch, trying to get better. On Monday I started to feel better, which was a good thing too as New Year’s Eve was coming up and I love New Year’s Eve! I promised to cook (from my new cooking book for people with Autism!) too, so I needed my energy.

A lot of people ask me: “But you have Autism and you’re very sensitive to sound! How in the world can you love New Year’s Eve, with the fireworks and all that?”

One word: Earplugs.

I used to use ear warmers and put the hoodie of my jacket over it. This muffles the sound, taking the sharp edges of the loud bangs off, but still keeping a bit of the sound as to not lose the effect.

This year I used earplugs, which basically did the same, although it was harder to understand what people were saying. I might go back to the ear warmers next year.

Once you get the sharp edges of the explosions out, all you have left is a sky filled with amazing colours, which is simply sensory bliss! So yes, I LOVE FIREWORKS!!!

Every year my parents let me seek out the fireworks, as I love to do that. Getting a budget, asking everyone what kind of fireworks they want this year, then searching for the fireworks that match it the closest within the budget. It’s like putting together a small event! Love it. And I must say, I’ve outdone myself this year with finding the right fireworks. Skyrockets have disappointed us in the previous years. This year I used cakes (basically big fountains), which were much more spectacular! I’ll use them more often from now on. Here is a video my sister made of all the fireworks around us and some of the fireworks I set off.

That’s the end of 2012 then. I’m actually not that sad to see 2012 go. Not everything about 2012 has been bad, but a lot has been. I’ve had to have let go of a lot in that year, like my boyfriend, who’s now my ex, and two jobs.

So I’m done with looking back and it’s time to look ahead. I hope 2013 won’t be this much about losses, but more about gaining. I hope to gain a driver’s license. I hope to gain perspective on my future. But most of all, I hope to gain some more happiness and peace of mind, no matter in what form or shape it comes to me. We’ll see, fingers crossed.

I can’t lie, though. This new year is a scary one to me. I have no idea what it holds and if there’s anything that scares me to death, it’s not knowing what to expect. Of course, you can never really tell what a year will bring you, but usually you at least know you’ll get to find a job, or simply go to your job, or go to school, or something like that… I have no idea about any of that. That remains to be seen. And if there’s anything you should learn about me, it’s the bigger the unknown is, the more stressed out I am. So I am, on the one hand, very hopeful about the coming year, but on the other hand I’m also scared, because I have no idea what to expect.

So yes, there’s a lot of opportunity here, but I’m also scared. Let’s just keep hoping for a lot of good things this year.