Thursday, 29 January 2015

Moving into my new place

It has been a while again since I last made a blogpost. This is because I'm busy with moving into my new place, where I'll be learning how to live on my own.
I've never moved to a new house in my life. I've always lived in the same city, in the same house. This worked fine for me. I'm not moving to a new city, but just moving in itself is a whole new experience for me. I never knew how much needed to be done, how many new skills you need to learn, how much certain things cost, what companies you need to deal with, what insurances to get...

It's all so much!

And that's just all the practical stuff. I have problems with change, remember? This is a really big change! So we had a big meeting with my psychologist, two coaches, my sister and my parents. In this meeting we decided I'd move at my own speed. No hurry. The move is a learning experience all by itself. No need to rush it.

This makes me the last person in the building to make the full move. This has hurt me a bit, as it took me back to the time where I still went to school and I immediately was the odd one out, because I couldn't go to school full time. People would ask me if I wanted to tell people about my disabilities or not. I would tell them there's no point in hiding it. I'll be 'that girl that's always absent' anyway. Might as well explain it to them.
This is how I felt about moving in last too.

But the other guys (yes, everyone in the training, besides me, are guys) have been very nice about it. They have offered their support where-ever they can. Bless them!

As you can read in the above segment, the move is also bringing about a lot of feelings from the past. In other words, my trauma. I'm going to be around a group of people my age 24/7. That's bound to trigger a thing or two from my past. And it has. But we're all working on it together. I really hope this will end up to be a good experience. That'll be so great! I've already ran into a few obstacles. Other people having other routines than me, my coaches not knowing fully how to specifically communicate with me, having to rethink my financial situation, etc.
The last few weeks haven't been easy for me. But I got such a great support system. I love everyone who have supported me so far and is still doing so.

It's hard to write about every aspect of moving into a new place. There is just so much! It has an impact on all of my disabilities, but also on the whole of me as a person. I think I already thought it wouldn't be easy at all, and even then I might've underestimated it a bit.

But right now the walls are painted, the floor is polished, the curtains are up, the bathroom is functioning... All that needs to be done now, in a practical sense for my room, is to put in furniture. Then the room is ready for me to move in.

I won't lie to you. I'm scared. I really am. But I'm also excited. Excited enough to push through my fear. So let's go for it!

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