I haven’t
got much to talk about today, as there isn’t much action going on at the
moment. On the other hand, there is plenty going on in my mind, as is usually
the case. My mind doesn’t really seem to have an off-button. This can be a very
good thing, as it helps me in solving problems, but it can be a curse too, as
destructive thoughts run the show too.
At the
moment I’m very frustrated with people who I think very highly of, but who keep
talking themselves down. It’s not that I’m angry at them, don’t take me wrong.
I’m frustrated with them, in the sense that it’s very frustrating when someone
doesn’t seem to be able to see (all) the good sides of him/herself and I can.
It makes me feel very sad for that person and it makes me want to yell all the
good things about them straight in their faces. I’m well aware this doesn’t
exactly help, as I’ll just make them feel as if I’m angry at them, while I
really just feel sad for them... Nobody should feel like this about themselves.
There is
one weird thing about this though: I can hardly see this when I feel bad about
myself. When I feel bad about myself (I don’t at the moment, don’t worry), I
can hardly see that I’m being that destructive about myself too. But when
someone else who I think highly of is feeling bad about him/herself and seems
to be having a hard time seeing their own good sides, it frustrates me to no
end. And usually, when you try and tell them their good sides, they won’t
accept it either.
And again,
yes I am aware that I do this too once in a while. This is the weird part about
it. Even though I have times like these too, it still frustrates me. Especially
when I care a lot about that person. I don’t want anyone to feel bad about
themselves, everyone should be happy and walking on rainbows and stuff. I know,
that’s impossible, everyone is entitled to a little down time once in a while.
Then why am I still so frustrated about it? Sometimes I confuse myself.
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