There were
some things that I needed from the city. After that I had physical therapy,
which would cost me a lot of energy already, so I decided to take the bus into
the city to save up on some energy. In retrospect I
should’ve taken the bicycle…
I got my things together and went outside. It was pretty warm outside,
which I didn’t expect, so I wasn’t really dressed for the occasion. On the way
to the bus I took off my jacket. The electric sign at the bus stop said that it
would be just 5 minutes until the next bus would arrive. Perfect. I sat down
and waited. And waited… And waited…
The electric sign started to say that there was a bit of a delay and
added another minute… A minute later it did that again… And again… In the
meanwhile people started to gather around the bus stop and I started to get a
bit restless, as I didn’t know if the bus was going to show up at all anymore.
Two busses drove by on the other side of the road and still there was
nothing for us. Then a 999 ‘out of service’ bus drove by. The reason for it to
be out of service can be anything, but most of the time it means something
happened (at least around here), so I got even more restless. Then another 999
drove by. A few minutes later a fire truck drove by. Now I was sure something
must’ve happened.
It was 20 minutes later since I first arrived at the bus stop, that a
bus finally arrived. For some cities this is a normal waiting time, but not
where I live, so everyone was in a bad mood. When the bus opened, it quickly
became clear that indeed there was a bus that broke down just a few stops back
(we were near a turn in the road with bushes and trees, which we couldn’t see
around, that’s why we didn’t know sooner).
I let the people around me go in first. The last person to enter the
bus, before me, was a man. This man wasn’t fat, but he was a bit bigger built
than the people in front of him, so he gently moved a perambulator (you know, a
thing where you can lay a baby in and walk around with it…) just about 5 cm to the side, so that he
could pass. I didn’t think anything of this, as he was so gentle, even the
simple act of walking the child over a sidewalk with some loose stones would
cause more trouble than the gentle movement that man caused.
The mother of the child, on the other hand, had a totally different view
on this. If looks could kill, that man would’ve died a horrible death and she
said: “What do you think you’re doing?! That’s a living thing in there you
know! You don’t just shove that to the side!”
The man looked at her, completely perplexed, and said: “Well… I just
needed to pass.” After this the woman kept telling him he was wrong (while I
entered the bus too) and she went on, yelling about how people should realise
that the bus was full and that we should’ve just waited for another bus. I got
very anxious of this woman and wanted nothing more than to just leave the bus.
The only thing was, I had physical therapy planned after my trip to the city
and couldn’t afford to wait for another bus, if one was coming at all. Also, I
was on the bus to save energy, not to waste same more.
The man somehow remained calm and asked her why she couldn’t leave the
bus herself if she was this bothered by the crowd. She told him she had a baby
with her and that she was one of the people in the broken bus. I didn’t see how
being a person in the broken bus would give her more reason to enter that bus
than us, as we would have to wait the same amount of time as her. It’s not nice
to be in a broken bus, but that doesn’t give you more rights to the next one.
Having a baby might, but she has no idea what the reasons of the other people
are for entering the bus! Somehow she claimed all the right to the bus and we
should’ve just stayed away and she just didn’t stop ranting to this poor man about
it. The man simply listened, hoping that she would quit. She didn’t.
This is where my frustration won the battle with my anxiousness. I had
had it with this woman who somehow seemed to think she was the most important
person in the world and everyone should just give her space, just because her
baby got moved very gently for 5 centimetres. I said: “Well sorry miss, but
I’m Chronicly Fatigued and was taking this bus to save energy. Instead, I’ve
waited 20 minutes to just get on a bus, which has cost me a lot of energy I
didn’t account for. If I had to waste more energy, I wouldn’t be able to do
anything after going into the city anymore. So no madam, I’m not intending to
leave the bus, thank you very much.” She looked at me perplexed and said:
“Well… Excuse me madam…”
I didn’t care anymore. At least she didn’t say anything anymore for the
rest of the bus ride. She had upset the whole of the bus and I would have none
of it. I do agree people are allowed to speak up for themselves, but you can’t
just demand the world for yourself, just because you have a baby, if you have
no idea what the others are there for. Besides, there was plenty of space in
the bus for even a few more people (I even managed to take a seat!), after that
baby was moved just 5
centimetres to create a bit of walking space to walk
towards the open spot.
This whole ordeal had left me with a lot of emotions and very little
energy. I was very restless and nervous, as the crowd and the woman had a great
impact on me. I was also very angry at the woman and I felt bad for the poor
man who got a flood of words over him for a simple act that harmed nobody. I
bought my stuff in the city while still shaking. After I was done buying my
stuff, I asked my sister to pick me up by car, as I didn’t dare hope for
another bus again for the rest of the day. This also bought me some rest time
at home before going to physical therapy. I’m glad for that, since I had no
idea how else I was supposed to get that much needed resting time.
Such a small thing as wanting to go into the city for 30 minutes turned
into all of this. This is how fast a day can sometimes suddenly turn around for
me…
Soms gaan dingen inderdaad niet zoals geplanned...
ReplyDeleteKan heel vervelend zijn, maargoed.
Ben je wel weer tot rust gekomen daarna?
Ik vind het trouwens wel bijzonder om te lezen hoe jij je bezig houdt met de mensen om je heen. En er op gegeven moment nog op reageert ook (je hebt lef!).
Als ik met de bus ga, alleen, dan sluit ik me juist af voor alles en iedereen om mij heen. In mijn eigen wereldje.
Doet ik sowieso wel trouwens als ik alleen op pad ga.
Mijn manier om dat te 'overleven' I guess..
Ja ik heb na het avondeten lekker mijn eigen tijd genomen. De wereld even laten voor wat het is. Me bezig gehouden met wat simpele activiteiten dingetjes enzo... Lijkt voor de buitenwereld niet als rusten, maar ik vind het heerlijk, even m'n gedachten verzetten met iets simpels om over na te denken.
DeleteAls ik met de bus ga dan sluit ik me normaal ook af. Daarom begon ik ook nerveus en zo. Ik wilde gewoon de bus in stappen en me afsluiten, maar toen begon die vrouw zo. Ze liet die meneer ook niet doorlopen, waardoor ik tussen hen 2 en de deur zat ingeklemd. Ik kon er dus niet veel aan doen. Nadat die vrouw eindelijk haar mond hield (na mijn frustatie-uiting), kon ik voorbij die meneer stappen en op een stoel zitten. De rest van de rit heb ik met m'n handen zitten draaien en geprobeerd zoveel mogelijk te 'verdwijnen' in m'n eigen wereldje.
Soms als ik probeer om me in jullie gedachtengang te verplaatsen, denk ik dat het voor jullie net is of je op een planeet met onbegrijpelijke wezens bent terechtgekomen. Wezens die een heel andere taal soreken en rare dingen doen. Voelen jullie dat ook zo? (zal wel niet natuurlijk)
ReplyDeleteMargareth
Dit is inderdaad hoe ik me soms voel en dan heb ik een vertaalapparaat meegekregen, waardoor ik wel enigszins kan communiceren met de rest, maar het vertaalapparaat is ook door mensen op m'n eigen planeet gemaakt, dus zijn onze eigen interpretaties die niet altijd kloppen. Ook zijn er cultuurverschillen tussen de 2 planeten.
DeleteZo voelt het soms ja... Ik zeg soms ook dat m'n zus m'n tolk is. Zij lijkt de taal van beide planeten te spreken en begrijpen.